uncomfortablemomentswithputin:
Dolphins are reputed to be psychic, and the one on the right has just had a premonition of being skinned and turned into a monogrammed conference folder.
I’m just gonna leave this here….
| John Green: | Hello oustonishly attracted pupils, my name is John Green and I want to welcome you to Crash Course, World History. Together we will learn how when a mere 15 000 years humans went from hunting and gathering, to growing... |
|---|---|
| Student: | MR. GREEN! MR. GREEN! Will we have to know this for the test? |
| John Green: | Yeah about the the test... The test will measure whether you are an informed, engaged and productive citizen of the World, and it will take place in schools and bars, and hospitals, dormrooms and places of worship. You will be tested on first dates in job interviews, while watching football and scrolling though you twitter feed. The test will judge you on your ability to think about things other than celebrity marriages, whether you'll be easily persuaded by empty political Rhetoric and whether you'll be able to place your life and your community in a broader context. The test will last your entire life and it will be comprised of the millions of decisions that when taken together make your life, yours. And everything, EVERYTHING, will be on it. |
#PerksOfBeingAWallflower Trailer is going to show at the @MTVMovieAwards pre-show! @LoganLerman and Ezra and I will be there to present. : )
— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) May 16, 2012
AHHHHHHH!!! While I don’t normally watch the MTV movie awards, I’ll be tuning into the pre-show for sure! I hope all of you Perks fans who have been waiting for this as long as I have will, too! June 3. 7pm central time. AHHHHHH. CAN’T WAIT!!!!
(Source: i-hate-people-alot, via 10knotes)
| Kim Kardashian: | I'd like to marry this dude and spend $10 million dollars on a publicity wedding please oh and then 72 days later I'd like a divorce |
|---|---|
| America: | Well sure why not? |
| Britney Spears: | I want to get hitched in a chapel in Vegas and have the marriage annulled fifty-five hours later because I didn't know what the hell I was doing |
| America: | Whatever you want! |
| Carmen Electra: | I want to get married in Vegas to this basketball player and then annul the marriage nine days later cuz we were both drunk lololololololololol |
| America: | Okay, sounds like fun! |
| Gay couple: | We would like to get married and spend our lives together and possibly adopt unwanted children to give them a good home and - |
| America: | WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS THAT IS DISGUSTING AND WRONG YOU DEFILE THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE SO GTFO |
A screenshot from Alfredo Jaar’s web site.
| romeo: | hey i just met you. |
|---|---|
| romeo: | and this is crazy. |
| romeo: | but i saw you at your dad's party that i wasn't supposed to attend and i thought you were pretty cute so i followed you and we kissed but then your nanny called you away and i found out you were a capulet and got bummed so i sneaked into your back yard in the middle of the night and climbed your balcony uninvited to profess my undying love after an hour even though i wanted to bone rosaline like two scenes ago. |
| romeo: | so marry me maybe. |
| historian: | over the last few years we have explored most parts of the prehistoric "the internet" and have come across a gathering of young adults called "tumblr". |
|---|---|
| historian: | we discovered a large amount of "slash" which has lead us to believe that 99% of 21st century humans were homosexual. we do not yet understand how the species managed to surivive |
| historian: | we also uncovered a never before seen language on "tumblr". Words and phrases such as "omg", "wat", "this shit cray" and "yolo" have been deciphered, but more complex sentences such as "dslfajsdlj no stop i can't evensldfjaldjaf" have yet to be understood |
Had the same exact experience with “Play it by YEAR” recently. THE FIRST 19 YEARS OF MY LIFE WERE A LIE.
(via schmergo)
